Ivan Moody, vocalist of modern heavy metal stars Five Finger Death Punch, has decided against “retiring from heavy metal.” While appearing onstage in Denver, CO on October 14th, Moody shocked many of the band’s fans after announcing that he intended to hang it up after one more album cycle.
His statement to the audience that night can be found below:
“I wanted to tell you this. And nobody else in the world knows, Denver, so this is where it’s going to start. And what you do with it is up to you. The last 15 years of my life I have toured the world, I have seen every country, every city on this planet at least twice—That’s a fact. And through that time as many of you parents know—hard workers—I have missed a lot of time with my kiddos. So I made them a deal today, and I’m going to stick to it. After this year, I am going to make one more Five Finger Death Punch album and then I am retiring from heavy metal.
But I wanted to start that here and tell all of you, from day one when I decided to be a singer playing places like… the Bluebird Theater, the Ogden, and we were supposed to play Red Rocks, we’ll have to do that one more time, right? Can I play Red Rocks one more time? You, I owe you everything, Colorado, Five Finger Death Punch and every knucklehead on this planet, thank you.”
Moody, a grandfather with several children of his own, has since posted a lengthy video via social media, revealing that he has since changed his mind. He commented in it:
“I really sat back the last few days and took it all in. And I first off want to apologize. I do. I apologize. I apologize because music’s all I’ve got, and I don’t think, for one, my kids would respect me in the long run if I quit doing what got me here. I don’t think my friends would talk to me. Obviously they didn’t text me, not the ones I was hoping for.
My bandmates deserve better. Zoltan [Bathory, guitarist of Five Finger Death Punch] deserves my heart and has earned my respect time and time again. He may as well be my blood. You deserve the best, there is no question about that.”
He later added:
“I can’t quit. I can’t. I’m not. To be quite honest with you, I think I’d die. Maybe not physically die, my but soul would fucking definitely fade, and I didn’t come here for that. There is a fucking fire inside of me that will never go out. Music and heavy metal are all I’ve ever had, all I’ve ever known. I was designed by it. When all the rest of the world kept betting against me — underdog, day after day after day — I found solace and sanctuary in bands like Metallica and Pantera, Alice In Chains, Danzig… The list goes on and on.
It fed me what I needed when I needed without question, unconditional love. I can’t say that for anything else on this fucking planet, [aside from] kids of course…”
After quoting some lyrics to the band’s track “Battle Born“, Moody offered:
“I ain’t going anywhere. I’m not, and Zo will hear about it first thing in the morning. As a matter of fact, I’m gonna text him the second I get off this. I owe you. I owe me. I owe everything that I’ve ever stood for. Maybe I was a little bit impulsive…
My kids — and I’m even gonna record it — because I want you to hear the sincerity when I talk to them. I’m not gonna record the whole thing, but I do… I think that they’ll thank me for it. In the ways that I’m not there, I am there in others. I hope you’ll all forgive me for rambling and taking this on…”
Speaking about why he felt compelled to make the original announcement, Moody opened up about one of his children’s ongoing struggles with recovery and how watching his child go through that from afar takes a toll on him. He stated, “it eats me alive, it destroys me.”
As for the night he announced his ‘retirement’, Moody revealed that both his kids (who were in attendance) and his bandmates were unaware of his plans. He commented of being swept up in the moment:
“So that night, I saw Nova, and Ivan Jr. and something in my heart — much like the Grinch — grew ten sizes bigger, and I had this moment of clarity, that everything that I had done up until that moment was a prelude to a kiss. That moment I got offstage… both of my kids came to me in tears — especially Nova. And she asked me why I would do something like that, because music is all I’ve ever had…
When I got back to my dressing room that night, my phone… My god, it was like a warzone. Now again mind you… I didn’t really tell Zoltan. I had mentioned it a few times that I was getting to a point where I thought we needed some time off.”
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