The dramatic second implosion of As I Lay Dying that played out last year was a rather disturbing ordeal. One by one, all members of the metalcore band sans vocalist Tim Lambesis all exited the band, with almost all cryptically citing their morals or belief systems being challenged. In the wake of that, rumors of infidelity and spousal abuse began to circulate online, however, Tim Lambesis‘ wife at the time publicly refuted the allegations of domestic violence.
In early November, Lambesis went on to issue this public statement, offering a vague explanation of the events that transpired, while communicating his intentions to once again rebuild the band. Several weeks later, leaked home security footage of Lambesis and his wife began to circulate online, showing the couple in heated discussions. In those clips, Tim was found to become extremely agitated, pacing, hitting himself repeatedly, and fervently yelling.
In a follow-up statement to the footage, Tim accused his wife of assault and verbal abuse during their three-year relationship. He also indicated that he had initiated a domestic violence investigation against her, claiming he had multiple videos of her assaulting him, among other things.
He also suggested that the leaked footage was in ‘retaliation’ for him serving her with divorce papers a day prior to the leaks. That statement also found him describing his erratic behavior in the leaked footage as being ” “anxiety filled reactions and defenses.”
In mid-January of this year, Tim went on to give this interview, offering his side of events that led to the breakup of the band and opening up on his mental health struggles. Two days afterwards, footage of Tim acting physically abusive towards his dog leaked online. Later that day, his now estranged wife Dany Lambesis denied various allegations made against her by Tim, while also accusing him of various indiscretions.
The above-mentioned footage of the alleged animal abuse has been back in the news this week, due to over 69,000 supporters signing a petition to have authorities get involved over the incidents. However, now one of Tim‘s former bandmates in the most recent incarnation of As I Lay Dying has publicly spoken out, providing exact details on the alleged incident that led to the group’s 2024 implosion.
The band’s former guitarist Ken Susi has spoken at length on the subject with the BREWtally Speaking Podcast as part of a two-hour discussion, half of which is dedicated to his time in As I Lay Dying. That entire episode is available now below.
Initially addressing the matter and why he’s chosen to speak out about it publicly now, Susi offered [transcribed by theprp.com]:
“… Tim being a litigious person, you know, and silencing everybody around the band in the particular situation that we’re all in, it’s obviously clear. The people that are close to him and who are not speaking, and I think the fans, it’s kind of weird why people are not talking, But in my opinion I think it’s unacceptable for Tim to go on podcasts with his friends and make false claims about how the band broke up.
I guess like, believe what you want, but my version of what happened totally doesn’t align with basically what he’s been out there saying and putting out statements about, right? So I really don’t personally want to get into a back and forth with Tim Lambesis, and I really don’t want to respond per se to what he said in the breakup and all that stuff, it’s just not what I’m here to do.
But I think the band just found ourselves in a position where we were essentially endorsing and promoting somebody with like a history… past accusations and he went to prison and all that stuff and he did what he did.
But like after his incarceration, it was almost like I did kind of see this coming. In my opinion, he formulated this like almost reality TV, you know, persona for his fanbase of like him portraying himself as his man of redemption or rehabilitation.
And it really gave those people that really do believe in that this like sense of, ‘I can get behind this guy and and do the thing that you know, that that he says that he is. And I can overcome my, the things that I’ve endured in my life,’ and like giving people hope. But to be totally honest with you, it’s as I said, it’s almost, like well-crafted and well thought out. You know, I really don’t believe in my opinion, I really don’t believe it’s a real thing in his world. But maybe he can speak to that.”
Susi would later go on to say:
“But, going back to the band, a lot of troubling issues kind of surfaced within the band in his personal life — well, surfaced in his personal life — but also with the band, leading the band into it. And we were just basically supporting somebody dealing with serious problems. And we were unaware of how serious those problems were at the time.
And when we figured, when the band actually, you know, it revealed himself and the band figured it out, that’s when, we really realized that… I believe, and we believe, that he, Tim, was, in need of professional help. And it was something that we were not able to provide or equipped to provide to him. ‘Cause we’re not like therapists and we’re not relationship experts. We’re, we’re none of that.
We’re just band dudes, like looking to play gigs and have a good time. And we were really kind of, a lot of us felt a lot regret when we figured out exactly what was going on, when the band evaporated. It was basically… what I’m trying to say is it had to stop.”
After relaying that he had an established relationship with Lambesis dating back decades from touring together and running in similar circles prior to joining As I Lay Dying, Susi went on to say:
I’ve, done multiple tours with [As I Lay Dying, when Susi was in Unearth] and at those times, I always thought Tim was a good person. And there’s a lot of people that say that in that time.
And I was willing to stand behind somebody at that point because there’s layers of friendship and years of friendship and conversations that you have backstage and meeting families and doing things.
And, you know, the experiences you have with these people that are kind of like, ‘You know what? This guy messed up.’ And I’m here to say, yeah, those people that are saying that stuff online are 1000% right. But you just don’t know the full story.
And I’m saying that they’re technically right. I should have known better. But then again, I am the type of person, that I would rather give somebody a second chance. The second chance is the one, right?
And if you fail me from there, I would rather have given somebody a second chance than to not give them a chance at all, because that’s not how I’m made, you know? I would rather just kind of say I believe this person could be rehabilitated.
I liked this person before they were incarcerated. I have a lot of friends that went to jail and got out and are stellar people.
So if I miss an opportunity or, you know, or if I don’t support somebody in that time, then I’m a jerk.”
After revealing that he reached out to former As I Lay Dying guitarist Nick Hipa prior to replacing him in the band, Susi explained that Hipa gave him the gist of what he was walking into. As such, speaking on this podcast, Susi relayed he “wasn’t dumb” to some of the problems lurking within As I Lay Dying.
When it was presented by the podcast’s host that Tim had at least positively impacted some people with his journey and that some times good things can outweigh the band, Susi went on to say:
“In this particular use case scenario, in my opinion, the bad things outweigh the good things tremendously. And it is not something that I am going to endorse, support, condone. Like, I don’t want to be a part of anything that he has going on in the future. I don’t want to be friends with him.
He’s… there is no room for reconciliation between the two of us. I don’t respect what he’s done and I’ll never respect it. There’s very specific things that happened in my own home that I’m not happy with. There’s no amount of good that he can do moving forward to change my opinion. And that’s for me.
We can all sit here online and say, ‘Oh, I have a friend and he went to jail and he did well, and blah, blah. Well guess what? In this scenario, that’s not the case.”
Later in the conversation, Susi shared:
“There was so much bad footage that popped up online and I was, I think the whole band was like, ‘holy crap, this is what was going on.’ Like we had no idea, but we’re glad we walked away kind of kind of vibe.
It’s like for those people in the comment section being, ‘Oh, you know, this guy didn’t hit that dog too hard’ or, ‘This guy didn’t freak out that hard’ or ‘He barely touched her.’ And I’m kind of like, how much do you love this band?
Because the guys in the band don’t love it as much as you do at this point. You know what I’m saying? Like it’s time to stop. And the only way I would, me personally, Ken Susi, would ever support that particular project is if he wasn’t a part of it. Other than that, I’m done.”
Later in the conversation, speaking on the kinship he felt with other members of the band who served in its most recent incarnation, including Ryan Neff and his former Unearth bandmate Nick Pierce, Susi stated:
“…We were ready. We were committed to this. We were definitely excited and committed. And that was all ruined. It was all fucking ruined for no fucking reason. Well, not, I’m not saying… no, there’s a reason. There’s no reason for the bad actions.
And then in the one, the famous thing that I say to everybody is all Tim really had to do is get out of jail and just scream to a fucking mic and be cool. And that was hard.”
Expressing his frustration regarding Lambesis‘s actions and blowing second chances and beyond [Lambesis was previously sentenced to prison in a murder-for-hire scheme involving his ex-wife back in 2014,] Susi offered:
“This isn’t even his second chance. This is his 3rd, 4th, 5th… So these guys, you know, we deserved. We did all the right things. We were in the shit. We fucking played the shows. We we, we got the acceptance of the fanbase again.
The whole band just had a mass exodus and we, the second iteration of the band, recovered that, obviously with the team in place and it worked. People were liking us. People were giving us shows. They were asking us back on festivals. It wasn’t just Tim. and Phil [Sgrosso, ex-As I Lay Dying guitarist] said it, ‘step down, leave.’ Like please, do you know what the fans want?
And you know, if people are going to comment on this, do the fans want to see a band without him? I don’t know. But to be honest with you, I think it would be nice to, to see what that would be. But he’d never give it up over his dead body. He wouldn’t, he feels he’s done no wrong.
He can go get fucking YouTube guitar players and drummers and shit and and make them sign NDAs or do whatever the fuck he’s going to do. Have at it, dude. I just refuse to think anyone’s going to follow that after, the 4th 5th strike on you. They can’t love the band that much. There’s there’s a limit to these things.”
Susi also went on to vent his frustration on how Lambesis seemingly brushed off the various members that exited the group last fall. This is also where Susi outlined his side of an incident alleged to have taken place in his home that led to the group disintegrating last year:
“I’m not going to defame anybody, but I’m going to go out and say that Tim, personally with his statements after the band, have just depicted me and the other bandmates as unstable… It defamed my character. The guy wrote something along the lines of like ‘Phil quit, quit later, and the band took Phil‘s took side and others rushed to statements when when they were worried about rumors that were circulating.’
Like that was on November 4th, right. He wrote that on his on the personal As I Lay Dying page to a fan that was commenting about stuff. That was incredibly incorrect. I think the 25 years that I’ve been in bands, I’ve been pretty fucking vocal and honest to people… I wouldn’t quit over a rumor. Christ. I was in the band with a guy that plenty of rumors circulated about. But the thing is those rumors were actually fucking true.
If you want to know what exactly happened and why the band broke up is because we were at Metalfest and we had the greatest fucking time in my kitchen. We had all the the all the band, all the members, all the crew, everybody and a few people were staying at a hotel. And then me, being a good host, after the festival.
Now, mind you, him [Tim] and his wife, they weren’t they weren’t vibing on tour. You know things… We were unsure if his wife was even going to come to this short weekend of shows, But I’m going to say, they were staying in a hotel down the street and I offered, I said, ‘Hey, you’re going to go get a tattoo. My wife works from home. I got to go to Fishman. If your wife wants to just chill all day, my wife and your wife are friends. You’re welcome to just stay here and save the money. And you can use one of our cars. You don’t have to rent a car.’
Like just go do your thing. But what ended up happening is, my wife and I are having a kid. She’s putting a bassinet together right now as beyond the beyond the screen. But we [had] just announced to my whole family that we’re having a baby. We got my mother crying, my father crying. Tim‘s wife is witnessing this, taking video in our house, it was a joyous occasion the day after Metalfest.
And then within 2-3 hours later, there was like an incident where now mind you, I’m just going to pick up the, I’ll pick up the fucking camera right now. I got these huge honking security cameras all over the house, and a label on the front door saying you’re being filmed 24/7, right?
And this guy like comes into my house in the middle of the night, corners his wife in my kitchen and spits in her face. And then retracts four or five steps back and has some type of episode, which I’ve never seen out of somebody before in my entire life.
And then starts screaming and running around my house for help. And it alarmed my wife. She woke up and she’s like, ‘What’s going on?’ And I’m like, ‘I’ve heard him scream for help before.’ I’m going to go see what’s going on.
But ultimately, I’m not 20-years-old. I’m not going to turn a blind eye to domestic violence. I’m not going to turn a blind eye to like improper behavior. You know, when shit happens, you fucking handle it. And in that scenario, I didn’t know what happened. I separated them, I brought them down to my studio. I asked him specifically what the fuck is going on.
And I, is there anything I need to know? And he was just like, ‘Oh my marriage’, this and that. And I’m like, ‘cool.’ I go upstairs. I asked Dany what’s going on. She tells me the truth.
I actually pull up the camera footage in front of her and I see exactly what was said. He spit on me. He threw a fit. I was trying to calm him down the whole 9. And to be totally honest with you, that’s what fucking happened.
Later on, you know, he tried to change. I went back downstairs. I said, ‘I’m disappointed in you.’ And he’s like, ‘I didn’t spit on her face. I spit at her feet.’ And I’m like, ‘Why are you spitting in my house in general?’ If you’re going to lie about it, you know? And the honest to God truth is, you’re not going to insult me. I asked him to leave immediately. He left. And at that point, the rest is history.
If Tim, wants me to like… When I quit the band, he sent a message through his wife, through his wife’s phone, saying he would sue me if I ever release that footage because he didn’t know — he was filmed without his consent, or he was posting up like, Dany would sue me, his wife.
But like, ultimately I’m not fucking scared. I have the receipts. With Tim‘s permission, if you want to check if I’m a credible source, if you want to see if I’m a upstanding person, I’ll release it. If you want me to release it, that’s fine. Tim, like I have no problem with it.
But I’m not going to sit here and let you say things like, ‘Oh, Phil left the band.’ Or you were really distant from the band and you know, everyone was like trying to pull you back in, but you were just in this place and blah, blah. You, you know, you’re creating a lie. You’re creating a lie for the fanbase. And it makes me look bad. It makes the guys look bad. You did something wrong. You have to own up to it.
And to be honest with you, I sent the video to Phil and I just said, ‘Phil, you are the other like operating officer in this band. You are technically HR. You know, I prefer you don’t share this with anybody.’ But I just said, ‘I have to quit the band. I’m out of here. I don’t want to deal with this type of shit.’ And then I also said that we had like, you know, money on the line for a tour and pyro and all this other shit.
I said, I’ll finish the tour, I’ll do the European Tour, as long as like this guy has help or he goes to get help, you know? I really didn’t want to be a part of the project anymore, but I did understand like how much money was on the line for those guys. It’s a big investment when you go overseas with scrims and pyro and all this other crap, and the deposits that are laid down.
And I didn’t want to leave them high and dry, even though the the severity of the issue was like so serious, but I was willing to see through that. But by the time it went into the As I Lay Dying, like band circle, that’s when things imploded.
Nobody wanted to be a part of it anymore. They didn’t care about the finances. They didn’t care about anything. And and that’s really what went down, you know, it is what it is. What am I going to say? I’m telling the truth. I just, I just don’t like the ‘the band broke up because of communication problems and everyone followed Phil‘ or, you know, Tim… Tim literally blew up the tours that I was supposed to be on, right? With all the income that I was going to make on that. I never got paid on royalties for the songs that I did write, or help write, on the record.
You know, he threatens me, obviously, again, I said, with a lawsuit, if I talk about or, you know, send footage around that he obviously knew because I have cameras in my common areas and a sign at the front door that he’s being filmed. And, you know, basically lying [about me online.]
I’ve been in this business for 20 years, right? 20 years, and actually longer than him. And to portray the band and us, like for leaving the way he did. I just don’t think it’s cool. And it’s what it is.
Just don’t abuse your wife in my fucking house and put my integrity on the line. And someone needs to say something. I don’t. I don’t feel like this is the.. I didn’t come on the show to to intend to do so. But since we’re in the moment, I’m going to fucking say it on your show over anybody else’s because I love you as a person, and people do deserve to know. Don’t subscribe to something that’s not good. But again, I have the receipts.”
