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Week of 05/15/2026

A Static Lullaby: ...And Don't Forget To Breathe (Live); (Smartpunk Records)

Acid Reign: Daze Of The Week; (Back On Black)

Advent Horizon: Falling Together; (Advent Horizon)

alt.: Nevermore; (Resist Records/SharpTone Records)

Antimozdebeast: The Vagrant Unkempt Grave; (N/A)

Arroganz: Death Doom Punks; (Testimony Records)

Artillery: Made In Hell; (Mighty Music)

Borknagar: True North (Vinyl); (Season Of Mist)

Crematory: Greatest Hits: English Hymns & Deutsche Hymnen; (ROAR)

Crown Lands: Apocalypse; (InsideOutMusic)

Crown The Beast: Judgement; (Emanzipation Productions)

Dead Pony: Eat My Dust!; (Dead Pony)

DeadWax: Nu-K; (DeadWax)

Defect Designer: Depressants; (Transcending Obscurity Records)

Desiccation: Legatum Mortuorum; (Carbonized Records)

Dispraised: Dispraised; (Thumper Punk Records)

Dromos: Failing Light; (Argonauta Records)

Drosera: Outlier; (Lambgoat Records)

Exhumed + Iron Reagan: Split (Vinyl Reissue); (Tankcrimes)

Faded Remembrance: The Blessing Of A Downfall; (Bitume Prods)

Frozen Sand: Fractals: A Shadow Out Of Lights; (N/A)

Gabi And The Fly: Initiation Of Decay; (N/A)

Gozu: Gozu VI; (Blacklight Media/Metal Blade Records)

Gravery: Purified In Blood; (Upstate Records)

Greyhawk: Call Of The Hawk / Ride Out; (Nameless Grave Records)

Heavenfall: Thorn; (Rockshots Records)

Held.: GREY; (MNRK Heavy)

Inthraced: Constellation Zero; (Inverse Records)

Intrusive: Die On That Hill; (Static Era Records)

Jungle Rot: Cruel Face Of War; (Unique Leader Records)

Krushya: DooMinion; (Krushya)

Louder: Devil's Night; (Fighter Records)

Mad Honey: Bridge Over Cumberland; (Deathwish Inc. / Sunday Drive Records)

Makkmat: Syke Fantasier; (N/A)

Maximum Robot: Away With The Fairies; (Epictronic Records)

Mirar: Gradus ad Parnassum; (Mirar)

Molosser: Molosser; (Gutter Prince Cabal)

My Heart, An Inverted Flame: My Death Is More Beautiful Than Your Life; (Crucial Blast)

New Idea Society: Fire On The Hill; (Relapse Records)

Noosed: Misery; (Road To Masochist)

Orphan Donor: Ailments; (Zegema beach Records)

Paradise Lost: Gothic (35th Anniversary Edition); (Peaceville)

Periphery: A Pale White Dot; (3DOT Recordings)

Port Noir: The Dark We Keep; (InsideOutMusic)

Primus: A Handful Of Nuggs; (Prawn Song/ATO Records)

Pro-Pain: Stone Cold Anger; (Napalm Records)

Profaned: The Human Condition; (N/A)

Revenge Ritual: Arbitrary Punishment; (Horror Pain Gore Death Productions)

Rhododendron: Ascent Effort; (The Flenser)

Rotting Christ: Der Perfekte Traum (Vinyl); (Season Of Mist)

Self Deception: One Of Us; (Napalm Records)

Slayer: Hell Awaits (40th Anniversary); (Metal Blade Records)

SPLIT: A Thousand Reflections; (Prime Collective)

Sum Of Seven: Echoes Of The Hypermind; (Inverse Records)

The Ghoulstars: The Dark Overlords Of The Universe; (Season Of Mist)

Tyrannus: Mournhold; (True Cult Records)

Valor: Ark Of Time; (N/A)

Van Halen: 1984 (Vinyl/SACD); (MoFi)

Violent Playground: Thrashin' Blues (Reissue); (N/A)

Visitors: Fringe; (Forsaken Recordings)

Von Groove: Born To Rock; (Frontiers Music Srl)

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The Onion: 'Doom Metal Scientists Discover Slowest Riff Possible'

Feb 21st, 2017 - 2:20pm by wookubus

Great news, The Onion are reporting that doom metal scientists have ‘discovered the slowest riff possible’. You can watch their video report on the exciting discovery below:

Doom Metal Scientists Discover Slowest Riff Possible pic.twitter.com/hoS5ll5LH8

— The Onion (@TheOnion) February 21, 2017

*If you don’t know what The Onion is, welcome to the internet.

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