The extensive interview conducted with As I Lay Dying, etc. frontman Tim Lambesis posted over at Altpress.com sheds some interesting light on the future of As I Lay Dying and the relationship Lambesis—who was sentenced to six years in prison today for attempting to hire a hitman to murder his then estranged wife Meggan Lambesis—has with his bandmates.
On when he first got out of prison:
“Jordan did return my phone call. The other [band] guys didn’t return my calls when I first came home. I eventually did speak with Nick [Hipa, guitarist], really briefly. I mean, really briefly. In both cases, we never got to the details. I thought they were establishing communication, as if we’d eventually be able to talk about all of these things. But then it was almost like there was some sort of group thinking going on. It was like they all decided, collectively, not to talk to me.
They cut off all communication. I sent a very long, very formal apology to all of them, trying to make amends, acknowledging how heavily my actions had impacted their lives. I got no response, so I sent another one out.
In the second one, I was just like, “Look, I know I don’t deserve forgiveness. But I just want to begin this process…” I got really brief responses from Nick and Jordan, acknowledging they had received it. Jordan said everybody just needed more time and that I was kind of hassling them, like, “leave us alone.” So I just stopped bothering them. The last email I sent was just like, “Guys, I’m not looking for a business opportunity, or to make everything okay so we can make more records together. I just considered you guys friends for a long time…”
I just wanted to reach out on a friendship level. What I really needed during this difficult time were my friends. I thought they just needed more time. These emails were spread out. The last one was like nine months after I was arrested.
Looking back, I did a poor job of respecting their wishes, letting them speak when they’re ready. I kept trying to reach out. I made things worse. I take responsibility for that. I realize six months is a short period of time for some people, but for a guy sitting at home by himself on house arrest… [ Laughs.] I was living in my own bubble.
People choose their friends. They were in a band with me because I was a meal ticket. It was an opportunity for them to make a good income. We were business partners. They made it clear there’s no concern for me on a personal level. And that’s actually okay.
The person I was wasn’t somebody worth being concerned about, to be honest. The person I was in the last six months or so before my arrest, I wouldn’t be friends with that person. I don’t take it personally. But it doesn’t make it any less sad. It’s sad to think of all that time put into those relationships and now there’s no personal concern, no friendship.”
“I’ll just say this: they made it very clear that we were business partners and nothing more. It’s heartbreaking on a personal level, but there’s nothing wrong with doing that. I have to respect it. It’s their choice. But when there are business decisions to be made, I can’t sit waiting around for answers from people who won’t speak to me.
I’m definitely not going to wait for a five-person consensus, if it’s just business. The ownership of the As I Lay Dying business is actually only two people. It’s Jordan and I. We used to make things more democratic, even though Jordan and I had veto power. But for whatever minimal business that’s left, it’s Jordan and I. I would never jump back into a van or a bus [with all of them]. I want to be surrounded by people who are trying to make each other better on a personal level and aren’t just trying to make good music.”
“You know, when you asked about the guys in the band… In hindsight, if they would’ve reached out, been a bit more supportive, I probably would have jumped back into this whole mindset of doing As I Lay Dying with them again. I would have fallen back into old habits. The way they distanced themselves from me was a blessing in disguise.
I lost everything. Not just my family, my money, but the guys I spent almost a decade with. I don’t want to come across as bitter toward them. I’m thankful it unfolded how it did. I don’t want a feud. I don’t think they’re jerks because they didn’t come visit me. They had their reasons to keep away from me. One day they will explain themselves, I’m sure.A call or an email would have settled my curiosity. Or if they heard my side of everything, maybe it’d make them hate me even more. It’s just weird for them to express nothing toward me—not hatred, not anger, nothing. It makes it feel like there’s no personal resolution.”
On releasing his future music:
“It’s up for debate whether or not Metal Blade Records would own anything I do. And [releasing music under] the As I Lay Dying name is clearly not appropriate at this time; it may never be. Now is not the time to evaluate that. I’m not necessarily writing a solo record, because Metal Blade could tie that up. I’m not really writing an As I Lay Dying record. It’s really just music for my friends, my family and myself. They will eventually see the light of day, but I’m not writing with any grand expectations.
Metal Blade could have cared less about anything I did [after my arrest]. But then the Austrian Death Machine record came out and sold more than any of the previous ADM records. So then the President of Metal Blade calls up Artery Recordings and is like, “Oh, by the way, I just want to remind you that was a one-off deal, letting Tim do that record with you.” I’m making music as therapy through this difficult time. If it becomes this big standstill about marketing, and record labels, I’d rather these songs never see the light of day.”
“I wish Metal Blade would let me free from the contract. Like, no joke, I want to do more records that are totally charity-based. I want to take away any sort of impure motive. But in the traditional label model, if I don’t deliver a record that will make them a certain amount of money, they can tie it all up until I give them something they like.”
On his impact on As I Lay Dying and Wovenwar:
“In the foundation of As I Lay Dying, I was the sole songwriter. For the first three releases, there weren’t any major songwriting contributions from the guys coming and going in the band. There were some great riffs, but on the instrumental side, I was the doing the bulk of the writing, then I was writing all of the lyrics.
When Phil joined the band, he started helping. And then Nick started to add riffs here and there. The most recent record was actually written mostly by Josh, oddly enough. He wrote more than half of it. So it’s changed over time. But my songwriting originally shaped the sound. I’m not patting myself on the back: I’ll be the first to admit that what shaped the sound of As I Lay Dying were In Flames and Living Sacrifice.
I was fine with the other guys writing, but it had to come through me for approval, because I had to be able to picture myself singing over it. My vocal range limited what would get through. A lot of songs ended up rejected. I’m guessing a lot of those songs will show up with their new band, which explains why the first promotional thing they released was an As I Lay Dying B-side.”
