PRP (Pedro): Ok
Myke: So I guess your first question is how I get so many chicks, right?
PRP (Pedro): Hahahahaha, yah, ya can answer that just for start.
Myke: I say my name is Pedro from PRP and they practically drool
Ross: Yah, and I’m that wookubus guy
PRP (Pedro): Hahahahahahahaha
PRP (Pedro): Hmmmm, how was Conform formed?
Myke: Well, I was in a boy band called Mainstreet Men, but once I realized I was too
damn ugly to be in a boy band, I threw in the towel and started up Conform with a few pals
Ross: Moreau was in a shitty metal band and got kicked out cuz he didn't like
metallica and GWAR
Myke: So then I followed him out. We gathered up a few guys and just started jamming, we clicked right off the bat. We made KILL COLD that night within the first 15 minutes
Ross: And thats it
PRP (Pedro): And why CONFORM? because Myke had to conform since he wasn't beautiful enough to stay in Mainstreet Men?
Myke: Partly. heres the truth, moreau was being a knob. he was trying to register
STEADFAST(which is the name of our new album) as a band name but it was already taken so
then he tried to register a band name of a guy we knew in Toronto called CONFINE, but he
fucked up and wrote CONFORM, and we got it back as ours to keep so it just stuck. to me it
kinda means that we wont conform to the idiocy of the world(like rape, murder,ect.)because all
our songs are about the stupid things like that in life and how they’re stupid. I dunno, just makes
me feel like I’m taking a stand
Ross: We know a guy who was raped by his baby-sitter when he was like 4 and we
just raise awareness and try to put a stop to this shit
Myke: So the name conform came from a screw up, but what it means is very
important, don’t be an idiot, think of others
PRP (Pedro): That was the answer for what?
Ross: And to have your own opinion
Myke: Where the name conform came from
PRP (Pedro): That's cool....
Ross: Myke wasn't really in a boy band by the way..... heheheh
PRP (Pedro): I know Myke sings. Ross, what do you do in the band? do you sexually entertain the other members or something? hehehe
Ross: I’m the gay porn star/dancer. Actually I play guitar
Myke: I used to play guitar too
PRP (Pedro): Oh, that's cool. Inspirations?
Ross: Pedro from PRP (thumbs up)
PRP (Pedro): That's a bad inspiration. What about yours, Myke?
Myke: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, that’s hard. like me. um, seriously? I hafta say the
whole New York Hard Core scene and the whole Underground Hard Core/Rap Core scene
PRP (Pedro): Favorite cereal? Hahahahahahaha
Ross: Corn pops!
PRP (wookubus): Corn pops are a work of the devil, they get all hard and break your teeth
Ross: Myke's is fruity pebbles!
PRP (wookubus): I will make an astonishing admission of guilt, cheerios give me the runs
Myke: Oh man, shit
Ross: ........heh..........shit........??
PRP (wookubus): I want to know if you've snuck into the adult section in the video store
Ross: Freaking right!
Myke: Like everyday
PRP (wookubus): Has your mom or dad ever found pornographic material in your room?
Ross: Not mine, but there was some on our guestbook on our site (www.con4m.com)
but we got rid of that. Myke is gonna be busy for a second, hes changing his nicotine patch...no lie
PRP (Pedro): Do you always carry condoms in your pockets?
PRP (wookubus): Everyone carries em in their wallets, duh!
Myke: I like to put condoms on dog tails....heheheheeeee
Ross: If you leave condoms in your wallet they don’t "perform" as good
PRP (wookubus): Are you speaking from experience about the condom situation?
Ross: No i’m a virgin
Myke: So am I
PRP (wookubus): All right I need some groundbreaking info here, When is the last time the band has eaten cheese, as a whole or individually?
Myke: I’m lactose intolerant but I ate some cheese in Amsterdam
Ross: He smoked some too
PRP (wookubus): Myke enjoys the pungent smoke of cheeese I take it then?
Myke: I wanna be a priest, smoke is cool
Ross: You do know what we mean by cheese right? (Hash)
PRP (wookubus): No I was thinking of the fungus that grows under ones penile foreskin constantly referred to as cheese
Ross: I don’t know about you but........I don’t have that problem
PRP (wookubus): I have an ointment for it!
Ross: You should really get that checked out
PRP (wookubus): Pedro checked it out thoroughly
PRP (wookubus): Have you guys ever played for a crowd consisting only of mounties?
Myke: No mounties but cops, fuckin assholes
PRP (wookubus): Would you say the rcmp are big fans of your music?
Ross: For sure, especially our song 420
Myke: Yeah or the song "fucking mounties stole my beer", I think it got renamed
"horrible"
PRP (wookubus): Is anyone in the band originally from Newfoundland?
Ross: Aye......ah dunt think sow
Myke: Ross is a newfie
PRP (wookubus): Hahaha. All right, poor guy I feel for him
Ross: ..not really...but Myke is really a virgin
Myke: Ok, got me there, but hey, i’m only 36, I got alot of time left
PRP (wookubus): Is that only not counting animals?
Myke: Well, I have a cat named poo poo
PRP (wookubus): Pedro is a large fan of anything fecal. He has quite the collection
PRP (Pedro): OK, people. serious question: How many Bruce lee movies you have recorded in
your home?
Myke: Enter The Dragon. Bruce Lee is my uncle. We hang out
Ross: He buys me beer and smokes
PRP (wookubus): Do you drink brisk iced tea together?
Myke: Yeah and kick the karate kid's ass
Ross: And the little drummer from hanson........little bastard
PRP (wookubus): Skill testing question, who was better, G.I Joe or Cobra?
Myke: We go with Cobra
PRP (wookubus): Keep in mind you will be judged on the answer of this question for the rest of your career
Myke: We feel GI Joe was a fuckin mamas boy army pansy ass bitch who got his
friends to whip his ass
PRP (wookubus): Does the band collectively feel that cobra commander was a puss?
Myke: Cobra kicked ass
Ross: What the fuck did you just say? Don’t make me get defensive or I’ll tear your legs off and beat you with them. I don’t care if you are a wookie.
PRP (wookubus): Point taken
Ross: Damn straight
Myke: Yeah chicks dig "bad" boys. In tights
PRP (wookubus): Pedro is known to wear tights and frequent elementary school playgrounds
PRP (wookubus): Would the go-bots have been utterly decimated at the hands of the decpticons if a
battle occurred?
Myke: Tough one
PRP (wookubus): All right here's something the people need to know. Has anyone in the band ever owned any merchandise of the Care Bears or Rainbow-Brite?
Myke: YES! BOTH!
Ross: No but I owned popples and my little pony figures
PRP (wookubus): Hahaha, popples. I think that statement says alot in itself
PRP (wookubus): Has anyone in the band ever cried while watching a Disney movie?
Ross: Yeah, when I was nine.....yaknow how they folded themselves inside out? well,
you figure it out
Myke: I cried during.....the lion king, the little mermaid, beauty and the beast,
Aladdin and pinnochio(I got jealous of his wood)
PRP (wookubus): Is pubic hair trimming a strict band policy?
Ross: Definitely. We need a seventh member so each of us can shave a letter into our
pubes. It looks real nifty
PRP (wookubus): Now that is a tight band unit
Myke: Tight as virgins
PRP (wookubus): Does anyone in the band ever pee through the front hole of their underwear?
Myke: I always whack through it
Ross: I have boxers. so I just rip a hole in them
PRP (wookubus): Haha
PRP (wookubus): When’s the last time the band has urinated in public? And if it was a group activity did a sword fight occur?
Myke: Today. I did on the way to the hospital to see Moreau
Ross: I actually had some guy ask me to have a swordfight in a bathroom at a
recreation center. I was scared
PRP (wookubus): Hahaha and did you engage in the activity?
Ross: No I was nine
PRP (wookubus): Was this in Newfoundland?
Ross: No, I never lived in Newfoundland you hairy beast
PRP (wookubus): Sorry, had to check.
PRP (wookubus): Have you ever flashed the windows at Muchmusic before?
Ross: Yeah! my scrawny ass was on TV behind bill welitchka.
PRP (wookubus): Excellent!
Myke: My bum hurts
PRP (wookubus): Were any of the other band members cause for the pain?
Ross: We went to visit moreau today and the whole time there he was just scratching
his ass.....we had no idea what the hell was going on! it must have been the drugs he was given
PRP (wookubus): Maybe it was a secret signal meaning the Germans are coming
Myke: Yeh, fuckin Moreau has been held up in the hospital for a week, animal
PRP (wookubus): Are you aware if he has had any enemas while staying there?
Myke: Moreaus grandpa was a nazi. Moreau is an enema.
Ross: Jewish people: please don’t hate us. we love you
Myke: We love everyone
PRP (wookubus): Do you think Pedro's gay porn career will ever take off outside of South America?
Ross: He can come on tour with us and be the opening act. do some sideshow freak
shit. We love Pedro though. He is the shit. thanx for setting this interview up man
PRP (wookubus): Do you love him enough to smear him in peanut butter and sick a pack of rabid dogs on him?
Myke: Only if I can join them, I love the taste of nuts
Ross: ....heheheheh....honeynut cheerios
Myke: A question for wook, have you ever gotten up in the middle of the night to pee
and you just can't?
PRP (wookubus): A few times yes, but it was usually due to semen blockage
PRP (wookubus): Do you find the Canadian version of sesame street more informative?
Myke: Well, I think Bert and Ernie have informed the Canadian children more about
homosexuality than the American kids. They’re Moreau's heroes
PRP (wookubus): So it would be a safe bet that you think Bert and Ernie like having a hand up their ass?
Myke: Like any gay puppet would!
Ross: Myke sure does
PRP (wookubus): Hahah
Ross: Did you know that there is no Myke, he’s just my puppet?
Myke: That farts alot. Ewwwwww, that stinks
PRP (wookubus): Do you tickle his prostate to make him talk?
Ross: Tickle it anyways
Myke: I think I shit my pants
PRP (wookubus): Have you ever given Myke a Dirty Sanchez?
Myke: Fuck my last pair of underwear!
Ross: Have you ever given Pedro a Hot Carl?
PRP (wookubus): Hahaha, many times. Brazilians enjoy anything fecal
Myke: Then they'll love our music! Its very shitty
PRP (wookubus): Haha
PRP (wookubus): Is it true that the tragically hip is really canada favorite band?
Ross: No, we are
Myke: Wooks, ever peed in a beer bottle while driving?
Ross: Ever peed in a beer bottle and gave it to someone you didn't like?
PRP (wookubus): I can't say I have it's a little known fact that I don't have a license
Myke: Yeh
PRP (wookubus): But I have peed in a bottle and left on the road hoping someone would pick it up
and drink it
Myke: If you did, would you do the bottle thing?
PRP (wookubus): Only if I was in Harlem
Myke: One time we fed a guy a bottle of piss at a party. His name is TIM MELLOR OF SOUTHAMPTON ONTARIO CANADA
PRP (wookubus): Hahahah. I will not censor that either you know
Myke: If you print anything, please print that
Ross: Yeh, he’s just a little grade nine kid
PRP (wookubus): Is urine drinking a common occurrence in Ontario?
Myke: Only while drunk at parties. That’s how my friend got the name pissy
Ross: I drink pee
Myke: The best part of waking up..........
Ross: Is peeing in your cup
PRP (wookubus): Well with urine drinking, pubic shaving and popples paraphernalia you guys have all the elements it takes to make it in this business
Myke: I hope so. We really try
Ross: I drink pee
Myke: I got an ALF blanket
PRP (wookubus): Is it true that none of the band wears underwear while performing?
PRP (wookubus): Hahah ALF
Ross: I got ninja turtles bedsheets
Myke: I still suck my thumb, and rub my nuts constantly.....on and off stage
PRP (wookubus): Are you sure it's really a thumb?
Myke: Yeh it helps me get through withdrawls
Ross: I haven’t taken off my underwear for 3 years
Myke: I still wear my diaper
PRP (wookubus): Neither has Pedro oddly enough
Ross: .............depends
Myke: Wooks, Coke or Pepsi?
PRP (wookubus): Pepsi, Coke rots the gut
Ross: YES! I say the EXACT same thing
Myke: So does urine
PRP (wookubus): Then again, I mainly drink Safeway Select because I'm poor
Myke: I drink Olde English cuz i’m poor
Ross: Actually its my pee in an Old English bottle
PRP (wookubus): Hahaha. Better then Pilsner
Myke: Thats why its so cheap you mutherfucker!
PRP (wookubus): The shocking truth comes out
Ross: Yuh
Myke: I’m gonna piss down your throat you little bitch
Ross: I’m gonna slap you across the face with my dick and fuck you in the ear you
little cockboy
PRP (wookubus): Does the band ever partake in group hugs?
Myke: Actually, we beat the fuck out of eachother before every gig
Ross: Jones gets it the worst though. We fuck him in the ear till it bleeds
PRP (wookubus): Do you give him a q-tip after?
Ross: No. we can't afford q-tips man
PRP (wookubus): And on that note I shall leave you all in Pedro's well lubricated hands as I have to finish the cure for cancer
PRP (wookubus): Farewell and it was nice ruining the interview
PRP (Pedro): I hope wookubus dies
Ross: Sorry man. We love you
PRP (Pedro): And I hope Myke gets aids
Myke: Too late dude, I fucked a monkey last week
PRP (Pedro): And hopefully conform will never sign with any label. FUCK YOU! .... Ok. Now my rage and anger are gone.
Myke: Serenity now!
Ross: "livin like it is hardcore will endeavour, livin like it is steadfast forever"
*This is where Pedro's computer locked up due to inferior Brazilian technology and the interview ended*
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