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Chimaira’s Mark Hunter Details His Bad Acid Trip

Chimaira frontman Mark Hunter recalls a bad acid trip he had via his ongoing column over at Revolvermag.com. You can read the entry below and hey, at least it ended better than Greg Puciato‘s bad trip.

“ego |’ego|

“I like the moment when I break a man’s ego.” — Bobby Fischer

Date: July 4th 2011
Location: Farmland – Middle of Nowhere

The second it hit my tongue I felt my entire body tingle…although it was probably adrenaline. Either way, I was in for a ride. After studying psychedelics for years, I was past the point of ready and it was time to have my own experience.

LSD can act like a computer or the Internet, this infinite world full of information blasting through your psyche at the speed of light, changing your thought patterns. What seemed implausible is somehow real. New questions emerge. Time stops.

For the first few hours I had the time of my life. Everything around me was alive and vibrant. I saw the world in new and bizarre yet titillating ways. There was a moment where a dragonfly buzzed around near me in what seemed like 3D IMAX. I was in awe.

Synesthesia. I saw and felt music. I heard colors.

Isolation. Wandering the vast farmland. Breathing with the flowers. Their beauty engulfed me.

I met God.

It felt like the front of my brain exploded with wonder and love. Harmony. Zen. The clouds were a perfect orange, purple, and green. The sun radiated and filled my soul with the warmth I so desperately needed.

The hippies were right…it’s all there. Life is love!

Hold up.

Hour five and things started to turn. God was dead.

I became a biological accident with limited time on a spinning rock. I controlled nothing. Beauty was impossible to find. We destroy. Our world is a virus eating itself from the inside.

My ego shattered. Demolished. I was a worthless carbon life form, an invisible spec of dust in the multiverse. Nothing mattered.

I panicked. Vomit spewed as fireworks blasted. “How long would this last?” I pondered frantically. I lost control of my nervous system and the ability to think rationally. Flight or fight was activated, but where am I running to and how? I then realized I was “tripping my balls off.”

The next ten plus hours were spent on an illusory cliff observing Hell. The Hell I created for myself over the past 30 some years, and my role in any wrongdoing. Could I handle it? What could I do to fix it? How could I use my ego when I need it vs. trying to control the impossible?

Why did I put myself through this craziness? There is a lot of medical data showing the positive effects hallucinogens in treating depression and anxiety. It’s not news that they are tools musicians have used over the years to enhance creativity. They’ve also been used as Shamanic practices for thousands of years to heal and the evidence of use in ancient religion is overwhelming. The list goes on and on.

There was a lot in my head that needed rearranging. I had problems with anger, ego, and generally being out of touch with my inner soul. Being the singer of a band – LSD means something entirely different. Lead Singer’s Disorder. It’s hard to escape it–even if you try.

I couldn’t find a reason not to try and improve.

The next day I felt reborn. I barely remembered “the old me.” It was as if I walked on the left side of the street for the first time. Did I step up a level in evolution? Was my brain turned on in new ways like the guy in Limitless? It sure felt like it.

My first trip was life changing similar to how Steve Jobs said it was one of the most important experiences of his life. But it would be a lie to say it was perfect. There was a lot of rearranging and rebuilding after. The ego pyramid was destroyed. Rumination and heartache took front and center.

Ego is important. It’s part of what makes us human. But it can get us in trouble. While I don’t condone the methods I used to learn how to control it, they helped me understand it and get a grip on it. The filters of my own bullshit were stripped away long enough to see how I could help myself.

If you’re going to play around with psychedelics, and evidence suggests you are, then do it smart. It’s highly rewarding to learn about yourself, but should you encounter inner demons and learn from them. Change. I also recommend waiting until your brain is full developed.

I love this article by neuroscientist and author Sam Harris. He breaks down psychedelics eloquently and it was an essential guide to for my re-entry.

Have you “turned on?” What was it like?

There’s a lot of ego floating around. Look in the mirror from time to time. Shatter it. Rebuild.”

COMMENTS

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        • avatar
        • Telecatastrophe     December 3, 2013 at 8:49 am

          As much as I love “Crown of Phantoms” (and I really do, it’s a damn good album), I have to agree with you here, it just doesn’t have that Chimaira “feel” to the music, especially Emil’s solos. Once he starts in on a lead and Mark stops singing, it just sounds like an entirely different band. Because it is an entirely different band. Luckily it’s a damn good band, and I really enjoy the music they all make together, but calling it Chimaira at this point is a bit of a stretch.

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        • Stereotypical Evil Archer     December 3, 2013 at 3:25 pm

          To clarify, I don’t hate “Crown of Phantoms,” but it’s not a Chimaira album.

          Chimaira is dead.

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    • TheMediaProphet     December 2, 2013 at 3:43 pm

      He should have started with mushrooms. Also, it’s good to have complete control over your environment. The music, the lighting, the people you are surrounded by. It sounds like he did not, but doesn’t say. But I’m straight edge, so I really wouldn’t know anyway.

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    • MyDarkPassenger     December 2, 2013 at 5:00 pm

      I’ve taken acid plenty of times and I didn’t ever feel “reborn” the next day. I just felt stupid for acting like a tripped out retard. For instance, I was convinced a Sharpie pen would light my cigarette. Just convinced that the caustic chemicals within would somehow light it right up. Needless to say, I gave up on that pretty quickly.

      Don’t do drugs.

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      • BEASTcoast     December 3, 2013 at 3:00 pm

        Psychedelics can be used to heal a wounded psyche.

        Literally: “mind” + “manifesting”

        They reveal the contents of your mind by breaking down the barriers of your social conditioning.

        The most accurate biological description of the human race is as a cancer.

        Man is the cancer of this planet.

        Just like cancer he kills healthy cells (other species) and ultimately kills the host body (Gaia).

        Every other species but man finds balance within its own environment and among other species.

        Anyone who fails to understand this fails to understand what is going on in this life on this planet and fails to think, speak, and act correctly.

        There are cancerous cells on this site. You do not know who you are because you lack self-awareness. But I know who you are. And I will be the therapy for this site.

        I will hound you like an antibody. I will attack you like a white cell. I will destroy you like a T-cell.

        I will show you the error of your ways and watch you curl up and die, after you shrink to the tiny size of your deluded, poisonous mind.

        You will be my new project. I will spend night and day working to eliminate your unchecked malignant growth. You will have no rest. You will find no succor. You will never know peace again.

        For your many crimes against reason and goodness I will gain strength and power in the righteousness of my indignation and the responsibility of dispensing justice, of healing a wounded music discussion site.

        For defending TV and calling Randy Blythe “unnatural” for not watching it.

        For glorifying the killing of innocent species with no regard for their emotions or intelligence.

        For enjoying the first record of a babyraper and claiming that time could forgive that crime.

        For adding a cancerous cell to this overpopulated, cancer-ridden planet and inculcating that cell in your vile, twisted anti-values.

        For daring to oppose one who sought to enlighten you.
        (You were warned.)

        For these and many other documented offenses against what is natural, right, and true in this still beautiful and worthy world, I will torment thee.

        From Heaven’s heart I will stab at thee.

        I will demonstrate for all to see how malicious, pernicious, and capricious the internet can be.

        And I will demonstrate from hundreds of miles away – from the comfort, safety, and luxury of my living room how the internet can self-correct itself, in the same way as the human body can heal itself.

        You will call it what you will. From your brainwashed, manipulated, and hypnotized minds you will call me everything opposite to what I am.

        You will not realize what is in your midst, will take night for day, and black for white, evil for right.

        You will refuse the gifts of one who knows.

        You will misinterpret everything as willing sheep do.

        I will call it my grand social experiment.

        I will prove that mind is the ultimate weapon. That truth cannot be stopped, or denied. I will ruin misbegotten lives that should have never been, should have never propagated like cancer, with the simple, efficient, and deadly arsenal that are my Thoughts and my Words.

        You will know Justice. And Justice will have its Vengeance.

        Tremble before me. You have chosen a dark path. But you have no idea how dark it is about to get.

        I will “cross the line” and put you down, like the rabid, inbred, and soulless rodent that you are.

        I am The Beast, and you shall know my name and the number of my name which is 6 hundred 6ty and 6.

        Thus endeth Lesson One.

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        • avatar
        • Porpoise Orifice     December 3, 2013 at 1:01 pm

          Well that’s fair of you to think.
          For me it’s similar in the way if you ask the right questions, you have a whole wealth of insight to be gained. On the other hand, you can just goof around and gain nothing.

          Internet = tool
          Psychedelics = tool
          or
          Internet = hedonistic
          Psychedelics = hedonistic

          I belong to both categories, but ascribe more towards the former, as I eat Smurf food with specific purposes and questions in order to start living a better life the next day.

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    • A bad trip on psychedelics is no fun at all. I was acting like a douche tripping on shrooms one time and fell into a pool… That wasn’t much of a problem but everyone laughing at me when I got out was. I felt like the worst person ever for the rest of the night and it got ugly fast. Let’s just say any demons you might have inside yourself like to come out and show themselves to you when you’re having a bad trip. Best to take drugs like that with an experienced user by your side.

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      • MyDarkPassenger     December 3, 2013 at 11:44 am

        Mushrooms are hard because they make you paranoid. Some people get that with acid too but not me. That’s the sole reason they became my preference, though really I only did either a handful of times. But yeah, if you get in a bad or uncomfortable spot when you’re tripping, it really fucks you up for hours.

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    • Hmm. It seems like Hunter enjoyed Sam Harris’ article a little too much. Much of this reads like a cheaply paraphrased version of Harris’ work. Some of it is borderline plagiarism, IMO. Hunter even claims that his trip occurred on July 4th, 2011. This is one day prior to the date Harris published his article on the subject. Coincidence, or did Hunter choose this date to avoid discussing the parallels of his article and Harris’?

      http://www.samharris.org/blog/item/drugs-and-the-meaning-of-life

      Not only does Hunter’s piece seem to familiar for comfort, it also seems like he’s trying too hard to derive meaning from a single experience. I had about 10 great trips before my first bad one. Hunter is claiming that he experienced both sides of the spectrum in a single trip. It’s not impossible, but I believe it’s unlikely that his trip was truly of the ‘bad’ variety if he can positively reflect on any of it. When you have a bad trip, you don’t look back upon the experience fondly, not even the moments before it took a turn for the worse. It’s nearly impossible to find any meaning in a bad trip because your time is spent in total fear.

      I’ve also found that one bad trip ruins all future trips. I attempted to trip twice following my first bad trip and I immediately returned to that place of terror after it kicked in. I never had a chance. That’s fine though. I had my experiences and I benefited from them. I don’t regret them at all. The bad trips simply ended my experimentation, which was also probably a good thing.

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      • avatar

      • “When you have a bad trip, you don’t look back upon the experience fondly, not even the moments before it took a turn for the worse. It’s nearly impossible to find any meaning in a bad trip because your time is spent in total fear.”

        I completely disagree. I have tripped many times and have had almost 100% positive experiences. However, the one I spoke of earlier in the thread was one of the single most terrifying nights of my life. I’m talking about trees that began to look like monsters with sharp fangs biting at me, I would close my eyes and see snakes wrapping themselves all around me, the grass looked like alligators… bad stuff. But I wouldn’t regret it for a minute. It was TOTAL fear, you’re right… but I think that is the nature of psychedelics. You transform out of the fear. It was terrifying and beautiful at the same time.

        I also have had positive trips since then. To each his own.

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      • MyDarkPassenger     December 3, 2013 at 11:48 am

        Yeah I think some people can’t erase that bad trip from their minds so every time you take them after that experience is in the back of your mind. It’s kind of a self-defeating behavior. Others may not have this problem, which would explain why they don’t have concurrent bad trips.

        I don’t think I ever took enough to have such vivid hallucinations. My mind would totally be blown and things would take strange shapes, but never really anything all that vivid. I think I’m thankful for that.

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